


32

by annalore



Series: A Football Life: Geno Smith [3]
Category: National Football League RPF
Genre: Geno Smith is the stupidest kid alive, Justin Tucker - Freeform, M/M, Mark Sanchez/Andrew Luck, NFL, New York Jets, Speculation, Tom Brady is pretty, all the teams, past almost Mark Sanchez/Tim Tebow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-01-21
Packaged: 2018-01-09 10:41:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1145008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annalore/pseuds/annalore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are 32 teams in the NFL. Mark Sanchez could end up with any one of them. This is a series of drabbles, one for each team.</p>
            </blockquote>





	32

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote these over the course of a couple weeks, so some of them include things that turned out not to be true/possible. Also, the universes aren't entirely consistent with each other.
> 
> I have rather shamelessly stolen some things off of JacAlley, because that's what friends are for. Also, I may have borrowed Alex Smith from This Won't Hurt by ionthesparrow. Read it. Love it.

**49ers**

When he walks into the stadium for the first time, everything is still brand new. It smells like paint and the grass has never been touched.  It reminds him of his second year with the Jets, even though on that field, he'd been second to the Giants, like always.

Kaepernick throws the first pass, with Crabtree receiving.  It's a beauty of a thing, going up at a high angle and traveling deep, hovering over the field for ages before it comes drifting down, right into Crabtree's waiting hands.  The rest of the team claps, and Colin gestures for another ball.  He chucks it at Mark, who catches it, surprised.

Crabtree moves in closer, and Mark flexes his shoulder, seeing how it feels.  He throws the ball.  It doesn't have nearly the range, but the arc is true, and it goes where he puts it.  Crabtree runs it back for a touchdown, and even though nobody tries to stop him, he celebrates like he just won the Super Bowl.  The team claps again.  He almost feels like he belongs.

 

**Bears**

Jay Cutler is the franchise.  Jay Cutler will always be the franchise.  That much is made clear to him before he even walks through the door.

He decides early that he's not staying, and he's determined to make this year an audition for his next job, a starting job.  He takes every opportunity he's given, in camp, during the preseason.  And he learns, too, takes in everything he can, because one day he's gonna have his own team again.

Not -- he thinks with bitterness and regret -- the one he always dreamed about.  He pushes the miasma away, tries to avoid the temptation to wish for perfect things.  There are no perfect things anymore, only fragile, hopeful things, and if those are just as dangerous, at least they're possible.

Jay Cutler's not a bad guy, and he's earned his spot.  He's had disappointments, and he's kept on trying.  That's something worth aspiring to.  He'll learn from that.

 

**Bengals**

Everyone thinks of Andy Dalton as this sweet, innocent, orange haired kid who wins football games.  Behind the closed doors of the locker room, it's a completely different story.  Mark is a year older than Dalton, two draft classes ahead, but they treat him like a rookie.  Like he has to pay his fucking dues all over again.

Worse than that is the culture, the things they discuss in the classroom, the things they put into action on the field.  It makes him uneasy to watch his own team play.

He can't tell Geno that, any of that, so he complains about how the uniform makes him look, his shoulder hurting.  That kid, Marvin Jones, making eyes at him during practice.  _He's six months older than me_ , Geno laughs.  _But you're worlds ahead_ , Mark answers.

Geno is an old soul.  Wise like you need to be to play QB.  He would get it.  But still, Mark can't.  He buys Andy Dalton his coffee every morning on the way in.

 

**Bills**

Geno's always spoken fondly of EJ Manuel, so Mark feels right at home when he gets to Buffalo.  But when EJ smiles at him after their first win, he knows he's in trouble.

He knows from the start that he's only there as insurance, that the Bills are trying to build a franchise quarterback in Manuel.  He tries to keep himself busy, make himself important to the team in other ways.  It's his first year with the Bills, but his sixth in the NFL, and he feels like he has a lot to offer a young quarterback.

He always had a good relationship with Geno on the field, a nice, easy relationship, but Geno never wanted to be coached by him.  EJ is all too eager, and they spend hours in extra practice, correcting throws, talking through the metal aspects of the game, watching film.  Learning.

When he left, Geno promised they'd talk every day, that they'd be fine.  That they'd see each other.  Those promises evaporate as they get deeper and deeper into camp, and missing him is a constant ache in Mark's chest, one that he doesn't even know if Geno feels.  It tortures him, and he calls EJ at the crack of dawn, asks him if he wants to go running.

It's a close game, with a comeback drive and a touchdown pass in the last minute.  EJ turns to _him_ , no one else, with triumph in his eyes and thanks on his lips.  Geno calls to congratulate him, but it feels hollow after that moment.

 

**Broncos**

The sun shines hot and bright in Denver, and Mark sweats just sitting on the bench.  He's thought about cutting off his hair, but then he thinks about what Geno will say when he sees it, the next second they get to spend together, and he tells himself he'll wait.

He looks terrible in orange and he knows it. _Jaundiced_ , he says over the phone.  _That's fucking yellow_ , Geno responds with a laugh, and Mark tells him what a fucking horrible influence Simms is.

He gets winded jogging back to the locker room.  _Doing okay, kid?_ Peyton asks as he guides him over to the oxygen.  Mark remembers a time in Jersey a couple years back, a conciliatory dinner over at Eli's place.  Timmy, sweet as sugar, playing tea with Ava and Mark holding the baby, an ache in his chest as he missed his nephew.

Somewhere in between the sentences _I know your brother_ and _I'd rather not-play with him_ forming in his head, he's glad he can't speak under the mask.  He's not that young anymore, but he's still younger than Peyton. Geno and the Jets seem so far away.

 

**Browns**

He knows he should feel fortunate.  The Browns start him above Weedon.  Management says they have faith in him, despite the press he gets.  Back at home, Simms is holding on for dear life and Geno is fighting for his job.  Somewhere in Jacksonville, Tebow is playing for pennies.  He doesn't even know what happened to McElroy.

This isn't New York, and people don't hate him here yet.  But in open practices, he can feel eyes on him, waiting for him to fail.  Wanting it.  His shoulder aches, but he doesn't say anything, refuses to show weakness.  There's a lot riding on this and he can't afford to lose, go back home and wait for an offer that might not come.

He might be starting again, but in the eyes of the media, he's just another Jets casualty.  He doesn't want that to be the story of his career; he wants to win.  If it's in Cleveland, so be it.  He'll be the franchise again.  But he gets uneasy when he thinks too much about the Browns. About how they let go of Hoyer.

 

**Buccaneers**

He can't help but pity Mike Glennon a little bit.  The kid did everything that was asked of him, and did it better than anyone expected.  Then new management comes in, and he's handing over his starting job to the new guy.  At the same time, he thinks, _Suck it up, kid.  It happens to all of us_.  He's young.  He has plenty of time.

Mark always wanted to spend his whole career with one team.  As a kid, he'd stored up all his hopes and dreams in the team that would someday draft him.  That team had been the Jets, and he'd given everything to them.  When he got to Tampa, he wasn't sure if he could feel the same way about another team, another group of guys.  But he's finding that leadership is the same anywhere, and they need him a lot more down here.  He feels like he can make a difference.

When the time comes to take the vote, they name him captain.  He takes the patch with shaking hands -- one star only, they apologize, but he understands -- and knows he would never have this in New York.  Geno doesn't get this, even though he has Mark's job, all his worries, all the pressure, and maybe what it takes to succeed.  The patch is trust, and it's faith, and he knows it to be precious.  He takes Mike under his wing, because it'll be his team one day, and because it's his job to make them all great.

 

**Cardinals**

The first time he's asked the question, he's so surprised, he doesn't know how to respond.  _Are you happy to be playing with a fellow Trojan again?_   Like it's Polamalu or something and he should fall all over himself because Carson Palmer once won the Heisman.

It's an honor, of course it's an honor. Just like it's an honor to be playing for the oldest franchise in the NFL, like that shit ever did the Giants any good, when it came right down to it.

He's not the type to impress, and he's not a kid anymore.  He just wants to play, and he feels stifled in the desert, with old teams and old quarterbacks crowding him in.  _Did any of it get you to the playoffs last year?_ he wants to demand, but they talk about it anyway, winningest team not to make it in, like it's something to be proud of.

He doesn't need to be good; he'll settle for being better, because once you enter single elimination, that's all that counts.  Former teammates, Heisman winners, winning records.  He'd be happier playing with Geno, and winning for the Jets.

 

**Chargers**

To Mark, ever since Eli Manning didn't go to play for them, the Chargers have been the team that could have been. And now, even though he's not out on the field, he wants them to win.  He wants it for San Diego, he wants it for Phillip Rivers, he wants it for himself, and he wants it for the Jets, to show everyone that Eli has never been the better choice.

It's strange to be playing close to home after all this time.  He gets to see a lot of his family, his dad.  He loves it, but he can feel it driving a wedge between him and Geno, every time he says he wants to wait to tell them.  When they talk, they argue, and Mark can feel himself falling apart.

He's being interviewed on a local morning show about his homecoming.  His dad is by his side, there's an audience, and it's being broadcast live.  Finally, he just blurts it out, that he's in love with fucking Geno Smith, quarterback of the Jets.  The Chargers let him play a quarter to show how supportive they are.  His father doesn't talk to him for a solid month.  Geno only lasts two weeks before he's calling and yelling about what a fucking idiot he is.  But Geno visits and they go out for dinner in public and he meets the team.  It's good enough.

 

**Chiefs**

When he leaves New Jersey, he means to leave everything behind.  He tosses his Jets shit, offloads his apartment to a friend, sells his car.  He doesn't even say goodbye.

Kansas City is a stark, lonely place.  There's nothing to do but rehab and play football.  And sometimes he goes out with a couple of the guys, but it's not really his scene.  It just makes him miss New York.

Sometime in the middle of July, he hears that Geno spoke up for him to Coach.  Wanted him to stay, after all.  He tries to get in touch, but Simms calls him a scumbag motherfucker over the phone, and it has the ring of a phrase that gets tossed around a lot.

Smith -- Alex, should be easier to remember when staring at a red and white jersey, number 11 -- corners him in the locker room one day.  Says he knows it's hard to be traded.  With sad eyes and a sort of smile, but it's a lot easier with a Super Bowl ring around your finger, a lot easier to say "fuck you" when you're a winner.

He doesn't think winning will get him Geno back.

 

**Colts**

He thinks a lot about Timmy in Indy.  It's not just the whole mess with Peyton Manning and the draft, though that does make him feel a lot worse about the way he sneaks glances at Luck.

In the locker room, Timmy would let him look to his heart's content.  He'd blush and give Mark that slow, sweet smile, and even though he knew nothing would ever, ever come of it, he kept right on looking.  When they were alone together, Tim tried to talk to him about God, and Mark listened with half an ear because he was so earnest.  They watched baseball and studied tape and became friends.

Luck is a lot like Timmy, powerful in the thighs, thick, muscular.  Just enough meat on him to make him worth the effort.  Not concerned about who might be watching when he strips down.  Almost painfully earnest.  At the same time, he's not at all like Timmy.  He looks back, gives Mark a slow blink, and then grins.

He knows it's wrong and he knows it'll probably turn into a mess, but when you're practicing hard and not getting to play, you need a diversion.  Luck likes baseball, but he doesn't carry a Bible in his back pocket.  He doesn't stay the night, and he doesn't ask about the picture of Geno that Mark keeps turned face down on the night table.

**Cowboys**

By summer, Romo's not recovering from his surgery the way he should, so the Cowboys revise their backup plan and pick up Sanchez for cheap.

He takes Geno down to Dallas with him in June, and they have dinner at Tony's house, enchiladas that his wife cooks, Mark helping with the rice and Geno making up a salad while Tony sits on the sofa with his son in his lap.

After dinner, while Geno takes the dog out for a walk and Candice puts Hawkins to bed, he and Tony talk about Dallas over beers.  Tony says it's a great place to raise a family, and then he hesitates, looks towards the door that Geno left through.  But he doesn't say anything else, just shrugs it off.

When Mark gets Geno back to the hotel, he's still thinking about it.  He pulls Geno into his arms in the middle of the room, and Geno looks up at him, an uncertain smile on his face.

"I could probably afford a house out here," he murmurs.

"Thinking about staying?" Geno asks, his brow furrowing.

"Some place for us to go in the off season," Mark adds.  "Plenty of space.  For... whatever."  He shrugs, unable to get the words out.

There's a dawning look of understanding in Geno's eyes.  He still looks uncertain, but he's young. He doesn't pull away, anyway.

They wake up together to a Dallas sunrise, and Mark finds himself thinking that this could work.  This could be the place he stays.

**Dolphins**

The first time they're in Miami together, Geno takes Mark home to meet his parents.  They're nice people, and they think nothing of welcoming the man their son introduces as his boyfriend.  Mark is nervous and afraid he's ruining it, but Geno just wraps an arm around his waist casually, murmurs comforting words in his ear.

Ironically enough, Tannehill's got a bum shoulder that they worry won't be ready in time, so Mark has been tipped to play relief.  In the locker room, the Dolphins walk on eggshells, trying not to offend anyone.  Nobody mentions how the Jets kept the Dolphins out of the playoffs last year. He takes reps with the first string team at least half the time.  The press loves the idea of a Hispanic quarterback, even if he's Mexican and this is Florida.

He lives in Geno's house for a few months.  Geno's mom, trying to put him at ease, says it gives Geno a reason to come home and visit.  And Geno does visit, whenever he can get away, though it's not often.  Lying under the sheets in the bed Geno slept in as a teenager, sometime in the middle of November, Mark tells Geno he loves him for the first time.

 

**Eagles**

The stories of the year are the Eagles winning the Super Bowl and Michael Vick going home to Atlanta.  Mark gets lost in the shuffle, just another displaced quarterback, over exposed and under talented.  Injured in a year full of injuries.

When he gets to Philly, people ask him what it's like, playing with Foles. An honor, a privilege -- these are the words they want him to throw around.  He refuses, but sometimes, watching Foles play, he does get chills.  He does feel like he might be watching something special.

When he makes the trip home on days off, Geno pretends that everything's fine, jokes about it.  He's developing well, but nobody's crowning him the next great quarterback or comparing him to Peyton Manning.  He's jealous.  It tells Mark that they're gonna be okay.  That Geno still wants him, no matter what he does when Mark's not around.

**Falcons**

Quarterback is the position it's hardest to succeed at, his father always told him, because there's only one per team.

The Falcons decide to try something new this year.  A two quarterback system.  One left handed and one right, one a runner and one a passer.  The scheme is part alternating play time and part mirrored play action, both on the field at once.

Two left handed quarterbacks in the league, and they're both tailor made for the role.  Vick and Tebow compete for the right to start while Mark competes with Matt Ryan for his.  For the first time in his career, Mark is sharing a roster with a quarterback that he's not fighting for a job, and it makes him wonder.

In practice, he stands under center side to side with Timmy.  The snap comes.  They both fall back, and he peels right while Timmy peels left.  He fakes a throw, and as he goes down, Timmy's already rounding the corner,  running hard.

He wishes he could play this way with Geno, but it would never work.  They'd just get in each other's way.

 

**Giants**

Mark Sanchez has always known he was meant to play football.  Beyond that, he wants three things out of life. He wants to play for the Jets, he wants to stay in New York, and he wants to be with Geno, not necessarily in that order.

When the season ends and his contract talks turn ugly, he figures two out of the three ain't bad.  He talks to Simms, who talks to his father, who talks to whoever the hell he knows.  Soon, he's being worked out by the Giants, getting introduced to Eli Manning, and by March, it's a done deal.  They get rid of Painter and they keep Nassib, and he's third on the depth chart while he finishes his rehab.

He expects Geno to be happy, but Geno just looks at him like he's throwing something away.  He tries to explain that he's in no shape to start anyway, that nobody's going to give a used up failure a job when there's a draft class ripe for the picking, when Timmy is out there, so many other talented guys.  There's always next year.  He's not getting any younger, but there's always a place for a veteran, and maybe people will have forgotten the so-called butt fumble by then.

He practices in a different place, but plays in the same stadium he's called home for years.  He goes home at night to Geno, wakes up to Geno.  He gets rid of his Jets gear, but he wears Geno's around the house when nobody's looking.  He catches Geno recording the Giants on the DVR.

**Jaguars**

He's been dreading this day for months. In his more fatalistic moods, he tells himself that he'll fit right in with a team that's been called the least talented in the NFL. On better days, he thinks at least he'll be the one upping the quotient.

He walks into training camp and the first thing he sees is Timmy.  He hugs him, so fucking glad to see him.  The memory of late nights, sitting on the sofa with legs touching, reviewing film settles over him warmly, like a blush, and even though it's long over, there's still a closeness there.

What the Jags might lack in talent, they make up in heart, and Timmy has the most heart of anyone.  They might be competing again, but Mark knows they'll both be playing to win.

 

**Lions**

They play the season opener against the Jets at the Meadowlands.  He spends the evening before his first game as a Lion in a house full of Jets.

Geno tells him it wasn't planned, but Nelson and Milliner come over.  Simms orders takeout and they watch TV and play cards and he tries to act like it's not awkward.  Mo Wilkerson stops by for a few minutes, talks some smack about how he plans on winning the game, but it's all friendly.

Eventually, everyone leaves, even Simms, who's gone to spend the night at his parents' house.  They're alone at last, and Mark just holds Geno in his arms, breathes in the scent of him.  It's been weeks since they saw each other, and they have only hours.  Geno says sorry, but no, he doesn't mind it at all, loved seeing the guys.

They go to bed early, and as he's getting undressed, Geno says you look different, and it's just what he was thinking, how it's funny how these short weeks shape their bodies.  They get reacquainted slowly, but it's still too little time.  It nearly kills him to leave Geno's bed to head back to his hotel.

Stafford's hanging out in the lobby when he gets there.  Asks if he got any good intel to share.  Mark wants to tell him to fuck off and thinks that he's never seen Geno look so confident before a game.  He shrugs and says nothing.

 

**Packers**

The one time he met Tony Romo, he said that Wisconsin was beautiful. It fucking isn't. Green Bay is a miserable, dirty place, with no culture to speak of.  If he's out of place, his black teammates stick out like sore thumbs.

When Geno spends a week in July, it doesn't go unnoticed. It gets written up on some shitty gossip site, but at least he gets the rub of being friendly with his old teammates.

Everyone treats Aaron Rodgers like he ought to be wrapped up in bubble wrap and carried around on a pedestal.  They may have missed the playoffs last year, but nobody expects it to happen again soon.  Mark isn't impressed, but he deals with it.

After winning a home game against the Jets in October, he goes out for drinks with some of the guys, and he gets photographed with Geno, leaning in close over a high bar table and talking.  They're in the paper the next afternoon, too, walking down Mark's street, Mark's arm around Geno's waist.

It was indiscreet and he knows it, but it was innocent too, and it would have gone unnoticed on the streets of New York. People notice it here, glare at him in the locker room, speculate about him in the press.  Geno gets it so much easier, back at home.  He wants to call up Romo and demand an apology.

 

**Panthers**

Mark Sanchez has a long memory, and he's patient.  He takes the job with the Panthers because, well, it's really the only option he's got.  And then he waits. 

He makes nice with his teammates.  He practices hard and goes out with the guys afterwards.  He doesn't take a single step out of line.  And if they don't respect him as a player, at least they're all starting to like him a little bit.  He waits out the preseason.  He wants this shit on TV.

Then, one week, Cam Newton gets hurt early in the game.  Mark goes in, and on his first play, he drills the ball at Steve Smith's head.  Stupid fucker catches it and runs it in for a touchdown.  They win the game.

Geno calls him that night and asks him if he feels better.  He doesn't.  He really doesn't.  Not even when Geno tells him he had half the team watching, cheering him on.

**Patriots**

There's one thing he thinks when he gets to Foxborough. That if he's following Timmy around, he'll be out the door by opening day.

The guys are all welcoming, though, nice, and it feels good to play again, so he tries to forget about it.  And, God, Brady is so attractive when he smiles, nice to look at while Mark watches him take reps and waits for his turn. 

He's close enough for Geno to drive up for the weekend.  Geno, normally taciturn, is bubbling over with the excitement of playing, buzzing with things they can't really talk about.  So they just lie in bed instead, Mark's hands light on Geno's dark skin.  He would give up Brady and his supermodel wife in a heartbeat, go back to watching that shit on TV, but he knows this is the best job he could possibly have right now.

But Brady has been known to get injured, and he doesn't know if he can face the thought of playing across a field from Geno, from his team.  Wanting to win, but at the same time, wishing he wouldn't.

 

**Raiders**

In Oakland, the world is black and white.  Good or bad.  Winning or losing.  Mostly, it's losing.  They're a team without an identity, and Mark struggles to lead them.

His father comes to his home games, and after all this time, still tries to coach him.  Study harder, learn more plays.  Throw a perfect pass.  Build a rapport.  Back to basics, or fancy footwork.  Love what you do, but do it like it's your job.

He doesn't need to be taught how to love football.  He doesn't need to be told to want to win.  It's in his blood, it's in his bones.  He's never stopped fighting.  He just lost, not because he was beaten, but because he took himself out of the game, and that's on nobody.

He doesn't care about the rest of the season.  The real test, the end-all be-all, is when he faces Geno.  Better or worse.  First or second.  Win or go home.  Geno has always understood.

 

**Rams**

Space.  As a quarterback, it's his job to control it, manage it.  The field is one hundred yards long and half that wide.  Ten teammates, eleven defenders.  Hand off, pass, or keep.  But always move forward.

He tells himself he can handle the space.  He has his car shipped out and rents an apartment.  He meets his new teammates and gets down to work, learning plays, studying formations, practicing.  He becomes a Ram.

It's nearly a thousand miles from St. Louis to New York.  He wants to go back.

Midway through the season, he realizes that it's not about the spaces you can create, it's about the distance you close.  He calls Geno.

 

**Ravens**

The Ravens don't need another quarterback.  The Ravens aren't interested in another quarterback.  Somehow, despite this, Mark ends up in Baltimore, and he's still confused by the whole thing as he goes into camp.  He doesn't question it, though, keeps his head down and his mouth shut.  He can be a team player, even on this team.  He does what he's told.

He ends up taking snaps for Justin Tucker a lot of the time, holding for field goal attempts.  He learns everything about what the kid likes, the perfect rotation, angle, firmness of grip.  The music he listens to, what puts him in the right frame of mind.  How he likes to be smiled at, just so.

He gets asked for by name.  _Let Sanchez do it, he's good_ and _maybe Mark can hold during the game_.  He does what he's told.  He has no idea what he's doing.  He feels old, and he has a kid back at home who doesn't need him for shit.

**Redskins**

When the Jets trade for Cousins, Mark finds himself getting thrown in as part of a package deal. He tries not to feel bitter, just tells himself he'll work his ass off and show the Jets what they're missing. And when that fucking breakable kid they've got down there goes out, he'll win when no one expects him to.

Redskins colors make him feel like he's back in college, and it's not bad at all.  The team is glad to have him. The weather's nicer than up in Jersey.

When he gets a break, he takes the train to Newark, spends the weekend at Geno's.  He plays touch in the backyard with Simms and his townie friends from high school and sleeps tangled up in his boyfriend.  He hates to leave, and he sits in Geno's car at the train station, his throat choked up with words, with promises.

 

**Saints**

Sometimes, when he's sitting on the bench staring holes in Drew Brees's back, Mark ticks off the things he hates about him.  His receding hairline. The way he licks his hands ten times before each play.  His fucking bullet-throwing arm and record setting seasons.

How friendly he is all the time.  How he asks questions and seems genuinely interested in the answers.  The charity work he does without ever looking around to see who's watching.  The Super Bowl he won, making himself a hero to the city he plays for.

He stares at Drew celebrating after throwing a touchdown pass and remembers a time when that was him, when he could do no wrong and the future seemed bright.  When he was the franchise and they made up silly names for it and his coach got his jersey number tattooed on his arm.  He remembers the playoffs and being so close he could almost taste it.

He stares at Drew after the game with his perfect wife and their perfect children.  He thinks about the relationship he can never talk about and the man that he misses.  He hates Drew Brees, he hates the Saints, and he hates New Orleans.  He hates it all.

 

**Seahawks**

Mark's not happy about the trade until Geno calls him after his first preseason game and tells him what he thinks about him in navy and lime green.  Fuck how he played.  Fuck the fact that it's probably the only start he'll get all year.

After that, he stops trying to find reasons to be unhappy.  Wilson is a nice kid, with a warm, easy smile.  Mark calls him Rusty, because it just feels right, and he watches him, on the field, off, with a weather eye and a constant sense of worry.  He gets the wind knocked out of him once, and Mark is there in an instant, hand on his shoulder.  _You're gonna be alright_ , he says, before he heads out to the field to play.

When he got to Seattle, most people warned him about the weather, the overcast skies and the rain, the cold fronts that roll in and blow out on a whim.  Mark just lights the electric fireplace, gets Geno on FaceTime, and talks, makes plans for the off season when he'll be back on the East Coast.  Geno is buying him tickets to Les Mis for his birthday. 

He misses home, but mostly he misses Geno.  Russell Wilson might be his quarterback now, but Geno is everything.

 

**Steelers**

He has no idea who designed the alternate uniform. He looks like a fucking bumblebee and he hates it.  He said that to Roethlisberger to his face, and he just knows he's getting fined again.

Sometimes he gets so angry he forgets that they're spending good money on him.  Or wasting it, rather, because win, lose, or draw, he doesn't play when Big Ben is healthy, which is turning out to be always.

Some weeks, he just sleep walks his way through practice, counting off the hours until it's over.  Some weeks, he misses team meetings or practice because he can't bring himself to leave Jersey.  He can't convince himself it's worth trying when there's no reward in sight, and his shoulder gives out halfway through the day anyway.

But Geno hates it, hates the way he's acting.  Geno begs him to see someone, ask for another trade, anything.  He thinks about retiring early.

 

**Texans**

The Texans are, without a doubt, a complete disaster.  They won the jackpot, and then they screwed it away by trading down their draft picks.  They're stuck - their words - with him and a fourth rounder that they expect him to mentor.

He'll do it.  He doesn't mind doing it, because at least he's in the driver's seat.  They're a new team, with a history that doesn't stretch back into another century.  They've got a new coaching staff, a bunch of brand new rookie players.  He'll be a new player, too, and he'll teach them how to win again.

As he begins to clear out the wreckage of last year, he feels a lot of hope.  He'll be a Texan, and he'll enjoy his time in the sun.

 

**Titans**

Once upon a time, there were Titans in New York.  He wore their jersey, and whatever it was, nostalgia, memories, or the whiff of mythological power, as a Titan, he won.

He'll be a Titan again in Tennessee.  They tell him he's there to compete, but he knows he's really there to light a fire under Jake Locker's ass.  They don't really want, or expect, him to win.  But he'll win, he can feel it as soon as he steps onto that field, throws his first pass.

He'll win his job and he'll win games.  He'll be the player he was meant to be, and nobody will shake their heads and say "what a waste" anymore.  He'll make his father proud, he'll make Coach Ryan proud.  He'll make Geno proud.

He looks forward to the day they face each other at his new home field as an inevitability.  When he plays, it won't be for spite or glory or even for bragging rights.  It will just be for Geno, who believes in him.  Who loves him.

 

**Vikings**

The day he leaves for Minnesota, they fight.

He doesn't expect a tearful goodbye, not from Geno, but he thought he'd get something more than silent stares interspersed with angry, cutting words.

He's going to compete for the starting job, but he's hopeful.  Between Ponder and Cassel and the rookie they drafted in May, it shouldn't be hard at all, though he's careful not to expect anything.  Injuries are always difficult, and the road back could turn out to be long.

In the middle of July, Geno is still prickly and uncommunicative, though they speak daily.  The Jets ended up hiring Cousins, and they don't get along.  _I know they offered you the job_ , Geno says finally.  Accusingly.

 _I needed a change_ , Mark tells him.  And it's true, he did need to escape from all that baggage, give himself space to breathe away from New York.  He doesn't say _They offered me_ your _job_ , though that's true too.

 

**Jets**

He should be happy. He got what he wanted. He got to stay.

But things changed the day he signed that contract.  Maybe they changed the day that Geno asked him not to, he's not sure anymore.

Nobody expects him to start.  He'll be lucky if he plays, the way things are going.  He doesn't understand what the problem is, and Geno looks at him like he should already know.

He doesn't understand how people can just drift, especially away, but they're doing it.  They see less and less of each other off the field.  At some point, he realizes he doesn't even remember the last time he held Geno in his arms.

He got to stay, but he never realized that maybe staying wasn't the most important thing.

He doesn't have any idea what's going to make him happy now.


End file.
